Do it for a Month

A lucid dream is quite a different experience to a normal one. In a normal dream, the experience is like a film. You’re just watching what goes on, albeit from a first-person perspective, and you cannot control anything despite an illusory sense of agency. In a lucid dream, you wake up during the film. You are as conscious as you are right now, reading this. You are able to make choices, move around, and in most cases, you are able to dictate what happens in your dream environment (it is a product of your own mind, after all). In effect, this means you can do whatever you want in your dreams, have whatever dream you want to have. What is more, a lucid dream seems far more real than a normal one. Everything seems lifelike and vivid, almost to the level you experience in real life, and sometimes more.

This article is a brief overview of the techniques I’ve been using and will continue to use for the rest of the month. So far, I’ve had three lucid dreams. I understand that for a beginner, this is quite a high amount, and usually it takes a couple of weeks before you start having lucid dreams. I found these techniques from a combination of a lot of time spent searching the internet, and using Stephen LaBerge’s book ‘Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming’. There are other more advanced and involved methods, but as I have zero experience with them I won’t mention them. Here are the absolute most basic steps you need to do, and that I am using to some success, to have a lucid dream.

1) Write your dreams down

In every source I have found, this is the only universal tip, found throughout. You keep a pad of paper - or preferably a journal you use solely for this purpose - and a pen by your bed, and every time you wake up, you jot down the details of the last dream you had. There two main reasons for this. The first, is that this helps you to remember to dreams you have. You might have 3-4 dreams per night, but it’s likely you remember only one, a the most. By keeping track, you train yourself to remember dreams which is useful because there’s no point in having a lucid dream if you don’t remember it in the morning. Secondly, you can look over your diary of dreams, you can begin to notice things that repeatedly occur, maybe a particular location, event, person, character, object, scenario: whatever. You should then make a note of these recurring themes, known as ‘Dreamsigns’.

2) Reality Check

What happens in your dreams is very often a reflection of what you do in your waking life. They way to use this to your advantage is to perform regular ‘reality checks’, around 10-15 times per day. The primary way to becoming lucid during a dream is to consciously realise that you are dreaming. There are certain things that can and cannot occur during a dream, and by making a serious on deliberate check of these things regularly throughout your day, you will eventually find yourself making the same checks in a dream. The difference is, when you are dreaming you will necessarily fail the tests, realise you are dreaming, and become lucid. Here are the tests you should do:

1) Ask yourself “Am I awake, or am I dreaming right now?”.

It is important to take this test seriously, and assume that you are actually dreaming and attempt to disprove that ‘fact’. Because as LeBerge notes in ‘Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming’, if you simply take it as an obvious fact that you are awake, you will simply replicate this assumption in your dreams. Have a look around for anything dream-like.

2) Check some writing

Find some written text. Look at it, look away, then look back. Try it again. If the text changes, you are dreaming. If it stays the same, you are awake. I had this happen in one of the dreams in which I became lucid. I was reading a magazine, then decided to do a reality check. I looked away, looked back, and repeated this. To my surprise, the text kept changing. I realised I was in a dream, and became lucid. As I did, the whole experience became more vivid and lifelike. I looked at the magazine (which I could now feel in my hand, and see the separate pages of, just as if it were real) several times again, and the text changed into a different jumbly mess of letters each time.

3) See if you can fly or float

Obviously, you can’t do this in real life. So if you can fly, float, or hover, you must clearly be in a dream. So try to do these during your reality check, try to will yourself to hover, or jump in the air and see if it takes a strangely long time before you land.

4) Check your memory

Memory doesn’t work all that well in dreams. Think back over what you’ve done over the last hour and beyond. Can you think of any details? Because if not, you are dreaming.

When should you do your reality checks? Do them at regular points throughout the day, so that it becomes routine to do so. This is so that you get a good amount done each day. If you just rely on your memory to do them, you’ll probably do very well….for about a day. Then life will get involved and you’ll forget. So use set times, when waking, when brushing teeth, when on the bus/in the car to work/school, when eating lunch, etc etc. As well as your chosen set times, perform a reality check every time you come across a dreamsign in real life. For example, I am often in my kitchen in my dreams (not really sure why…), so I’ll do a reality check when in there. The point is to make it habitual, so that when the dreamsign pops up in a dream one night, you’ll habitually perform a reality check. You can also visualise yourself seeing dreamsigns, and then doing a reality check that you fail, leading to a lucid dream. This will be useful if you have a dreamsign that you are unlikely to encounter in real life, such as an old friend you don’t see anymore, or something more abstract.

3) Fall asleep hoping

As you lie in bed, think about lucid dreams, and repeat your intention to have a lucid dream. If your mind wanders to something else, bring it back to the affirmation that you intend to notice you are dreaming and become lucid tonight. This might help you fall asleep faster too, because your mind isn’t wandering.

4) Sledgehammer Technique

There is definitely a technical name for this, but I can’t remember it and I think this title is quite descriptive. This is the single most effective way to have a lucid dream, and it’s how I managed to have all three that I experienced. Unfortunately, it is the most intrusive to your schedule.

We dream when in the REM stage of sleep, and as the night goes on we experience longer REM periods. If we are cut off from getting REM sleep, we tend to enter it immediately when we do eventually get some sleep.

We can take advantage of these facts, by setting an alarm for 5-6 hours into our sleep period. Then, we get up, and out of bed. Next, drill the idea of lucid dreams into your head. Have a few websites bookmarked to read during this time (such as this one), and if you have a book on lucid dreaming read that. Stay up for an hour or two doing this, just reading and thinking about lucid dreams. Do a load of reality checks, especially the visualisation ones described earlier. This really is the sledgehammer approach, just overload yourself with thoughts, intentions, and information about lucid dreaming. Then go back to bed, and apply technique 3, above.

If you do this, you are very, very likely to have a lucid dream. I had one on my second night trying this. Of course, this is most effective when combined with all the above techniques, so the more dreams you have logged and the more dreamsigns and reality checks you have done in the past, the more likely it is to work. But it is highly effective as a stand-alone technique.

Another tip, is to have an idea of what you want to do during a lucid dream, so that you don’t waste time deciding. Apparently, lucid dreams occur at a normal rate of time, so time is of the essence.

Hope these tips are useful, if you don’t get quick results please persevere, because I promise that lucid dreams exist and can be learned, I’ve done it myself so I would know!

I told you I was not going to stray far from the pillow.

In March, I will learn how to have lucid dreams. If you are dreaming, and then suddenly you realise that you are in a dream, all of a sudden things change a bit. The dream becomes more vivid and realistic, almost to the amount of realism you experience when awake. But most importantly, you become conscious. That is, you are able to control your actions in your dream just as you would in real life. Because the dream is a product of your own mind, you are also able to dictate where you are, who you are, what you can do, the laws of physics, and so on. You can be Spider-Man, the King or Queen of dreamland, a sports star, rock star, or even spend some ‘quality time’ with anyone you choose. You can interact with your subconscious and ask it questions. You can spend time working through problems you might need to solve in your waking life, revise for an exam, or practice a skill - there are literally no limits.

One thing that interested me about this is that it is apparently possible to learn things that carry over into waking life. When you move around in the dream, the part of the brain that controls the body parts you move is activated. So you could practice some physical skill like martial arts or darts maybe, to see how that translates to real world skill development.

The main resource I will be using to learn this is Stephen LaBerge’s “Exlopring the World of Lucid Dreaming”. LaBerge has a Phd in psycho-physiology, and his book is a pretty straightforward how-to guide rather than an in-depth analysis of what and why lucid dreaming is (though he covers this a little). As it’s written by a scientist and is backed up by research throughout, and as it is instructional rather than informative primarily, this is perfect for a month’s experimenting. I’ll be looking online for other resources, as I understand that immersion into the topic is very helpful in triggering a lucid dream. If you know of any good (free) online resources on lucid dreaming, let me know: warren@doitforamonth.com or post a comment.

I tried to learn this a while back, but stopped as I got too busy with other things. At that time, I managed to have one lucid dream, and I remember being shocked at how real it seemed. I was sat on a field, and I could feel the wind and see the grass swaying. It seemed as real to me as sitting here typing this does. This apparently takes a few weeks to get started in, and a few months before you start getting good at triggering lucid dreams, but since I have tried this a little in the past, some of the ground work has been done and I should be able to do it at least a few times throughout this month. It is kind of weird that last month I reclaimed time by sleeping significantly less, and this month I am reclaiming time again, this time by actually being awake while I’m asleep.

I will update with the techniques and methods I am trying, and the results they bring. So at the very least I’ll end up with a series of posts which offer a basic ‘how-to’ guide so people can try this out themselves without having to buy anything, along some recommendations of more in depth material for those interested. But hopefully I’ll be able to experience a few lucid dreams myself and try some things out. Some things I want to try are chatting to my subconscious, and weight training (I wonder what effect dream training will have on actual workouts?). Mainly though, I just want to be Spider-Man.

Today is the final day of my month-long experiment with polyphasic sleep.  It has been very interesting and novel; I have felt most of the time like I have had an advantage of the rest of the population, who get only a sluggish 16 waking hours, pah.  But having said that, I wouldn’t want to do this long term, for reasons I will go into later.  First of all, a few more notes I have made since the last post I made, which seems like a long time ago because I’ve had various problems with internet connections, servers, and at one point I accidentally deleted this whole blog (oops!).  Luckily I had a backup on the previous incarnation of the site.

•    Get up straight away

When your alarm goes off, get out of bed immediately, don’t wait around and relax.  Doing so is a good way to extend a nap by accidentally falling asleep.  I did this a few times, and it left me more tired, groggy and unable to function than missing a nap did.  I believe the term for it is sleep inertia.

•    Exercise

I’ve been exercising regularly by jogging and weight lifting throughout the polyphasic period, and have not noticed any negative effects on recovery or fatigue, or anything like that.  I noticed that other people who have blogged about polyphasic sleep have noted the same thing.

•    Energy levels

Certain times of the day are sometimes tough; the first hour on a morning, and the last hour at night are often quite difficult, particularly if I’ve had a few alcoholic drinks.  But this is not really any different than a monophasic schedule.  Then again, there are days when I feel fully alert throughout the whole day.  I have not noticed anything in particular that might cause this, unfortunately.  Mental energy is a slightly different story; in the last few days I’ve found it hard to concentrate in the early hours of the morning, however this is almost certainly due to some missed naps over the last few days.

•    Missing naps

There have been a couple of times where I’ve been immersed in something, and totally forgotten to take a nap.  This is frustrating because the general wisdom (which I have found to be correct) states you should continue as if nothing had happened, and wait until the next nap to sleep.  If I miss two naps in a row, then I get really sleepy and this has happened occasionally.  Probably should have set a reminder on my phone to tell me when naptime is…

•    Adapting to nap times

One thing that I have recently started doing, is waking up sometime between a few seconds and a minute before a nap ends.  So my body seems to be used to the 25-minute nap period.  I wake up with a very strong feeling that the alarm is about to go off; not in a “ah there must be a few seconds to go” kind of way, but more like a “aww that awful noise is coming” way…

The thought of sleeping just once a day is a little bit weird.  What do you do? Wake up, and then just stay awake all day until night again??  Strange.  One thing I’m looking forward to is being able to drink coffee at any time I want!  In fact I might just make one now.  Also, I’ll be able to leave the house for longer than 4 hours at a time.  I’ll be able to get a job (my attempts to get a work-from-home job failed miserably!).

Pros and Cons

What are the benefits of this weird experiment?  I got a LOT of stuff done (doesn’t this website look nice now?) and I’m actually quite impressed with that.  I’m able to fall asleep within a maximum of 5 minutes, assuming I need to sleep and I’m not wide awake, of course.  Previously, I would roll around for literally hours before getting to sleep.  This is something you’re just forced to learn when sleeping polyphasically, like being thrown in at the deep end.  You get four times the amount of practice, and there are severe consequences if you fail, which are probably good conditions for learning almost anything!  More benefits: it was interesting and novel, a new way of experiencing life, which is always good.  I’ve learned a lot about sleep and how much I actually need, which turns out to be far less than I thought.  I’m much better at waking up and getting out of bed, and as a result I expect I’ll be an early riser from now on.

Downsides?  The first week was tough at times.  The schedule is extremely restrictive, and although missing the odd nap here and there is not a major problem, missing two in a row IS a major problem, and you still have to fit everything around a nap schedule.  You can’t start watching a film close to a nap, you can’t go out for longer than four hours, and you can’t get a job with longer than four hour shifts, or do overtime.

Concluding Thoughts

At the start of the month I wondered whether I’d continue after this month.  At the time, I thought I would, but the schedule is too restrictive to do so.  If I did a polyphasic routine again, it would be when I had a work-from-home business, and I would do the uberman schedule – a 20 minute nap, every 4 hours.  As it is though, I will definitely not be returning to a ‘normal’ 8 hours per day schedule.  I plan to start with 5 hours per night, an increase from my usual 3, and keep the 6pm nap.  I will try this for a while.  It seems that many have functioned fine on 5 hours alone, and I will see if I need the nap or need to extend the core sleep.  I’ll mess around with it, what I want is a schedule where the nap is optional; it can give a bit more alertness (probably most relevant towards the end of the day), but isn’t absolutely necessary if I have things to do.

Tomorrow I will start March’s experiment.  I will explain all tomorrow, but I will say that I am not straying too far from the pillow…

I decided to look into some of the research on sleep and sleep deprivation when I started this polyphasic experiment, and some of the findings I came across are very, very surprising, and the opposite to what you might expect, based on common wisdom. This is a quick review of what I learned. I’ve tried to keep this readable and yet I have been forced to keep some jargon in. I’d really appreciate any feedback on the writing style here…if it’s too jargony, dry or boring let me know by posting a comment. Likewise if it is readable, I’d like to hear that too. Also, to keep this readable I have not added any references in, but post a comment if you wish to know the reference for a study I mention and I’ll tell you.

Common Concerns

Most of the concerns I have come across regarding polyphasic sleep have been based implicitly on what is called the recuperation theory of sleep. This theory proposes that during our waking hours, the stability of the body is affected by our activities, and that going to sleep is what restores the body and mind to a fit state and a normal balance. This is what most people think sleep is for. Surprisingly though, the research evidence does not suggest that this is the purpose of sleep. For instance, if this was true, we would expect a person who had not slept for many days to stay asleep for a long time when they eventually did sleep, since the body would be well out of balance and would require major recuperation. But this is not the case; such people actually tend to oversleep for just one night and then return to their normal schedule, as was the case with Randy Gardner, who broke the world record for wakefulness in 1965. After over 11 days awake, Randy slept for 14 hours, before returning to a normal eight-hour schedule.

So theoretically, we do not use sleep to rejuvenate, at least not primarily. So theoretically, sleep-deprivation should not necessarily cause many ill effects. But that’s theory, what about in practice? Some studies have been done on sleep-deprivation in humans. With only 3-4 hours of sleep-deprivation, we are sleepier, our mood is a little off, and we perform poorly on tests of vigilance and concentration. After a few days of sleep-deprivation, we experience microsleeps - short periods of sleep lasting a couple of seconds, that can occur when standing, or even driving. However there is controversy over the physiological effects of sleep-deprivation, some researchers say there is no convincing evidence of adverse changes, and although there are some studies that report adverse effects, there are many more showing no negative effects to a range of tests, including on tests of IQ and even physical strength.

What about reducing sleep, not removing it altogether?

So there are some problems associated with sleep deprivation, but perhaps they are not as harmful as you may have thought. This is full sleep deprivation though. What do we know about people who simply sleep less, polyphasically or monophasically?

Starting with monophasic sleep reduction, there have only been two studies published. This is because they take a lot of time and money to do, being long-term, and it is no doubt hard to recruit participants for them. The first saw participants reduce sleep to 5.5 hours per night, for 60 days, and suffer only a slight reduction in auditory vigilance when they were given an extensive series of mood, medical and performance tests. So 5.5 hours a night seems to be quite acceptable. In the second study, people reduced their sleep gradually to either 4.5, 5, or 5.5 hours per night, for one year. Although they experienced daytime sleepiness, there were again no detriments found on mood, medical or performance tests throughout. Perhaps a daytime nap would have removed even the sleepiness?

In terms of polyphasic sleep, I have not managed to get hold of Stampi’s book “Why we nap” which describes the research on polyphasic sleep. It is out of print now, I can’t access the online versions of it with my ATHENS account, and it is not in my university’s library. However I understand it is available at the British Library, so I may yet get it out and review it at a later time. I hear that polyphasic sleep was replicated in several experiments, which suggests random assignment to me (to prevent just testing people who might be naturally more able to adjust to new sleep patterns). They found no detriments on performance tests, however I do not know how long the experiments ran for.

Why isn’t reduced sleep harmful?

This is a valid question, and the answer seems to lie in the adaptiveness of the human brain. The suggestion is not that eight hours is normal and we are able to adapt to other patterns, but that a shorter amount of sleep is optimal, and that we have adapted to an eight-hour monophasic schedule through modern living. When we sleep, there are different stages that we cycle in and out of. I won’t go into too much detail, but there are four stages, the first is where you experience REM sleep and dreams, and the third and fourth are where the majority of the recuperative effects of sleep occur. REM sleep is also of great importance, and your body will not tolerate a lack of it; in such a case you will immediately enter REM sleep the next time you fall asleep.

When sleeping we move from the first stage to the second, to the third, then the fourth, then back through the third, second, and to the first again, and repeat. When the overall sleep time is reduced, the efficiency of the sleep that does occur improves. We experience more of the rejuvenating stage three and stage four sleep, up to around the same level as when sleeping for longer. This is most pronounced when reducing sleep gradually, which suggests it might be best to ease into a reduced sleep or polyphasic schedule, to allow the sleep cycles to adapt. During polyphasic sleep, most of the sleep is in the important stages three and four to begin with, then the cycles adapt to include a more ‘normal’ proportion of REM to stage three and four sleep – however, the different stages are reported to occur in separate naps.

So how much do we actually need then?

After reading this research, and living for a month on a mere four hours of sleep per day, I am pretty much convinced that on average, modern humans sleep too much. I’m sure there’s variation between people on how much time we each need to sleep for, and that some people might need their eight hours. I heard this a lot when talking about my polyphasic sleep schedule “I couldn’t do that, I need my eight hours”, people often said. I expect their evidence for this were a few occasions where they were forced to sleep less because of a night out, work hours, or some deadline. I doubt they have systematically experimented with different amounts of sleep for long periods of time, knowing that they might initially experience extra sleepiness as they adapt to their new schedule. But why would they? Ask anyone how much is a healthy about of sleep, and invariably, they will respond “eight hours”, and probably give you a strange look for questioning such an accepted piece of knowledge. But this bit of folk wisdom is a fallacy, like the idea that we need to drink eight glasses of water each day, or that wisdom positively correlates with age: people sleep too much.

When I say ‘too much’, surely I mean ‘more than optimal’, right? I mean, you can waste some of your day by oversleeping, but it can’t actually be BAD, can it?

In two long-term studies involving a large amount of participants (over 100,000 men and women in the first, and over 82,000 women in the second), the mortality rate was investigated alongside the average sleep time after a 10-year and 14-year period respectively. The researchers controlled for various factors including age, smoking, snoring, illness, and others. In both studies, they found that sleeping for seven hours was associated with the lowest death rates, and the other sleep-times were then compared to that. I’ve drawn up two graphs so you can see the results. On the bottom axis is number of sleep hours per night, and from there you can see the death rate for that amount of sleep. With seven hours being the lowest, all the other scores are shown as percentages of that.

The first graph shows that the mortality rate was lowest for people sleeping seven hours per night, closely followed by five and six hours per night. Four hours or less, or eight hours or more, were associated with the highest mortality rate, and people sleeping 10 hours or more per night showed a mortality rate that was DOUBLE that of people sleeping seven hours.

The second graph shows similar results. Only women took part in this study, and those sleeping six or seven hours per night showed the lowest mortality rate. Next were five and eight hours, and even higher was nine or more hours, which showed an increase in mortality of over 50%!

When I started this experiment, I would often disclaim my actions when talking about it, saying “I’m aware that it’s a bit insane and probably unhealthy, I just want to try it, and anyway, it’s only for a month”. But now, maybe it’s a little closer to sanity than I first thought. Of course, it’s impossible to say anything about polyphasic sleep schedules from these studies, as the people in them were all monophasic, but they at least say something about our common ‘knowledge’ about sleeping eight hours per night, and especially to the people we all know who get 10 or more hours per night – maybe they should cut down.

Anyway, far be it from me to suggest something that might increase human longevity. Maybe I shouldn’t mention this – we’re overcrowded enough on this planet as it is. Instead, maybe we should lionise these people who sleep in for long periods - buy them sedatives, comfortable beds, take them to Sigur Ros concerts, and celebrate them as they heroically sacrifice themselves in order to free up resources for the rest of us.

Sleep tight!

Well I’m 19 days into the everyman schedule, and all is well. I’m still getting a lot done, and still enjoying this novel way of experiencing life. It is training me to make more use and better use of my time, because what’s the point of extra time if it’s not spent being productive?. I’m also getting so much better at getting up straight after an alarm goes off; I was previously a habitual ’snoozer’ but such behaviour is punished on this routine, not on the core nap, but if I oversleep on a 20 minute nap I’m groggy for a couple of hours. I’ve had a few thoughts on my experiences so far, and a few tips for people who might want to try this:

• Days = Blocks

I hear that on the hardcore uberman schedule people tend to lose track of days. I have experienced this to a degree on the everyman schedule. I find that I usually know what day it is (or I should say, I don’t lose track anymore than usual), but I lose track of what day I did things on. There is definitely a certain weirdness about time on this schedule. I don’t think of days as much as I do of ‘blocks’ between naps that last around 5 hours. It’s easier for me to know I did something 2 or 3 blocks ago than to know what day I did it on, probably because the 20 minute naps seem a lot longer than they actually are. So days are sort of less relevant, and I need to make use of a calendar much more often throughout a period of time that you might call a ‘day’. If I did something 2 blocks ago, it feels like what you would call ‘yesterday’, regardless of what ‘day’ I did it on. Also, I have to plan things so that what I do does not cross over into another block, which can be restrictive.

• It’s not perfect (at this stage)

I previously stated that I had not experienced an ‘adaptation phase’ as such, due perhaps to occasional oversleeping allowing me to ‘catch up’. Well since then I’ve overslept only once, and that was for a mere 40 minutes (set my alarm incorrectly again, damnit!), and I can clearly see that I’m not adapted to this routine. I can function normally for the extra hours - I am still over-productive, and I do a lot of exercise too - but there’s an intuitive sense that I’m not at 100%. Maybe I’m at 80% of normal energy levels. Even if this did not change, and I came off the routine before adapting, I would easily call this an acceptable trade-off.

• Gravity

Another weird thought I had: Would a polyphasic sleep routine tend to make a person shorter? Think about it, I’m spending an extra 4 hours a day in the upright position, with gravity pushing down upon my spine. Ubermanners spend 22 hours under such pressure, for the most part. If you’re monophasic this time is spent in a prone position, and so the gravity would not affect your height at all. I wonder if other people on polyphasic sleep routines for long periods have measured their heights, or if they might find hanging upside down a pleasant experience as the spine is stretched out?

• Phone and text messages

I use my phone as my alarm when I nap. One perhaps obvious tip if you plan to do the same is to NOT send a few text messages before you nap! I usually can’t sleep if I have an un-replied-to text, as it’s like an open loop in my mind. You really have to deal with that if you don’t want to be woken up by your message alert tone, which in my case is Dexter’s Sgt Doakes proclaiming “That’s a good call Morgan….it’s a tough call…but that’s a good call, man”.

• Eat more

If you’re awake extra hours, you need more food. It would be like driving your car an extra four hours each day; you need extra fuel. I think a danger here might be that people start polyphasic sleep routines, and neglect to eat more than they usually do. Then they naturally feel more tired than they normally would, and perhaps a little faint with it. Then because they are focused on the sleep pattern, they blame this on the routine, call it a bust and return to monophasic prematurely.

It’s been a long time since I updated this site, as you can see there was no entry made in December (which was going to be random acts of kindness) or January. This is because I had exams in January, and revision took up 98% of my waking time.

In the month of February, I have been doing Polyphasic sleep. This is a somewhat insane process whereby one reduces their hours of sleep considerably, and spreads the remaining amount across the day in short naps. The program I have been following is called the ‘everyman schedule’, and looks as follows for me:

5:00am-8:00am - Core sleep period

12:30pm - 20 minute nap

6:00pm - 20 minute nap

11:30pm - 20 minute nap

So, a total of 4 hours sleep each day. When starting a polyphasic sleep schedule, it is reported that an ‘adaptation period’ occurs before you experience life without sleep deprivation again, and that you must stick strictly to this schedule during the adaptation period, or else it will last longer. During adaptation, you are slightly more tired than usual while your body adjust to the new routine.In my experience, I only experience this kind of tiredness after the core sleep and sometimes late at night (duh).

I am not doing this in a hardcore way, nor in a particularly strict way. I have missed naps often, and occasionally overslept (usually when alcohol is involved). It’s not that I’m doing this to see if it works, or because I’m emotionally attached to wanting polyphasic sleep to be a real and valid thing, I just want some extra time for a while, and the detriments of sleep deprivation are not really that bad, especially short term. This is well known to my fellow students; one of whom told me she would cut sleep down to four hours at night during revision periods. She even said there’s a period of a week or so where it’s pretty bad, then she adapts to it. Myself, when I used to work a lot of hours, I would often be left with less sleep. You just get used to it, and as long as it isn’t long term, it’s not so bad.

So as I say, I do oversleep sometimes. Only in the first week was this because I was literally too sleepy to get up. In the first week, I was strict with this, as I did not really go out that week. Since then my life has interrupted my sleep schedules. I work around this as much as possible, but sometimes you’re round at a friends house and you’re all staying up talking and you forget about naps. Other times you’re just too drunk to get up after 3 hours sleep, polyphasic or not! I expected this, and it’s OK.

There was one occasion, this morning, that I was genuinely gutted about. Went for my last nap a little later than usual, and it was set to finish at 00:17. Accidentally, I set my alarm to 12:17 - twelve hours after I wanted to wake! I woke up at around 8:00am, a nice round 8 hours’ sleep. Although I was annoyed at this (the bottle of wine may have played a part), I realised that I had gone to bed at midnight, and got up at 8am, which for a student is still pretty damn good going!

Experientally, it’s pretty cool following this sleep schedule. I do not experience anything like an ‘adaptation period’, ostensibly because I oversleep occasionally. This cuts my waking hours down, but still puts me above normal, and it doesn’t matter because as soon as I get a few days straight without any commitments or plans, I can get straight back into the 4 hours a day routine with no problems. Except immediately after the core sleep period as I have mentioned, during which I sit up in bed, put lights on, and (slowly) make my way through The Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu text written around 500BC. It is weird because one of the characters is Krishna, so in effect I have this Hindu God ranting at me while I’m half asleep for 45 minutes or so every morning. Seriously, these Hindu Gods can rant. Reminds me of Galt’s massive rant in Atlas Shrugged, though the topic is almost exactly the opposite.

Another benefit of this, is that it is slowly fixing a problem I’ve always had. I’ve never been able to get to sleep quickly when I lie down on the bed. Usually takes me quite a while actually. With polyphasic sleep, I’ve been forced to learn to get to sleep immediately. Early in this experiment I thought that the 20 minute time period was the important part of the nap. It isn’t. It’s the timing. I used to put my alarm 5 minutes back if I hadn’t fallen asleep yet, and again and again until I fell asleep. This made things much worse because now the nap is out of schedule, not to mention the time wasted lying there. Just made me more tired. So I decided to set my alarm (I set it for 25 minutes now), and lie down for that period and try not to be awake. If I don’t sleep, I get up straight away. This worked much better even if I didn’t manage to sleep, but it also forced the development of a new skill - getting to sleep.

I tried all kinds of things, but what I have found works best so far is relaxing all the muscles, and repeating something in my head at the same rate as breathing. Then eventually I get the urge to shift into the position I usually sleep in, I do that, then I wake up sometime later. Often (but not always) with these naps, I feel like I’ve been sleeping for ages. Sometimes I wake up a few minutes before the alarm, and think I’ve overslept considerably. So I’ve found it unnecessary to be as strict with the schedule as is often suggested, though to be fair I’m doing the tamer of the polyphasic routines; the most hardcore involves a 20 minute nap every 4 hours, and no core sleep. I couldn’t do that one as my life is not flexible enough (ie., I don’t have a successful online business which is the sole source of my income).

They also say that missing a nap is like missing a night’s sleep, I’d say missing 2 is like that, and missing 1 just makes me pretty tired. I really hope I get a chance to do a good week’s stretch where I stick fully to the schedule. As for the extra hours… Did they translate into productive behaviour? Well in two weeks I’m completely up to date with uni work, have completely gone through and organised everything I own here in London (my room is actually tidy!), have made a lot of progress on my dissertation, got stuff on ebay which I’d been planning to do for ages, and still had time to go out a few times. So yes it does seem to work!

So Movember has drawn to a close. Overall, I enjoyed the experience and I will surely keep my mo’ for some time to come. I intend to use it as a prop to initiate conversations with women. I cannot see how this could possibly fail.

Here is how Max looked at the end of this month:

And a close up:

As you can see, he did extremely well!

I need to collect sponsor forms from people before I can tell you the amount raised for Movember. At a guess we managed around £70.

To highlight the end of Movember, I have compiled this list of top 5 cartoon mo’s. I actually got stuck trying to think of suitable candidates, so it’s not really THE top 5, but rather the…

Top 5 Cartoon Mo’s That Warren Could Think Of In The Last 20 Minutes Or So!

5.

Mario

I played SEGA, not Nintendo, when I was younger, so by rights I should not include a loser like Mario in this list. But objectively, he’s got a damn good mo’! I don’t like Mario, or his dumbass brother Luigi. Sonic the hedgehog; now there’s a character to lead a brand with. Sonic is fast, and has a lovable arragance to him. Plus he turns into Super Sonic when he get’s pumped up, which is just plain cool. Mario, on the the other hand is a slow, out of shape, half-wit. Ostensibly, he spends all his time eating pizza and getting fat, and if Bowser doesn’t kill him, arterial plaque will. Plus the guy appears to be addicted to ’shrooms! What kind of a role model is he for kids? Nevertheless, his mo’ will always be legendary.

4.

Jafar

While density and pure mass are important aspects of a good mo’, there are other ways to impress, such as pure grooming skill. Think of Salvadore Dali, for an extreme example of this. Jafar fits in this category easily. Notice how the mo’ moves down from the nose, then moves outwards. That’s a very difficult look create and even more difficult to pull off, even for an evil bad guy in a Disney film. Jafar’s ultimate downfall in his battle with Alladin was not his mo’, however: A pasty-white American-accented street rat in an Arabic city?? Who’s he trying to kid? Illegal immigrant! Clearly! Jafar should have just had him deported.

3.

Carter Pewterschmidt

Carter is one of my favourite characters in Family Guy, because the sound of his voice alone is funny, not to mention the scything remarks he fires off with it. The message alert on my phone is Carter saying “Alright! Goooo Medium! Wish I could talk to ghosts. That’d be sweeeeeeeeeeeet!!” This is the richest mo’ on the list; Carter owns both US Steel and CNN, the latter of which he won from Ted Turner in a poker game. I know this because I looked up ‘Carter Pewterschmidt’ on Wikipedia. I’m even getting good at spelling his last name: Pewterschmidt. Pewterschmidt. Pewterschmidt. Got it!

2.

Ned Flanders

Sometimes Ned is so cheerful and good that it makes you sick. But you can’t help but feel a deep sense of awe for the mo’ he sports. His mo’ - one that can only be a combination of superior genetics, meticulous grooming, and divine intervention - is probably the saving grace of this character. Imagine a Simpsons with a clean shaven Ned. Doesn’t work does it? Ned’s impressive mo’ must surely be the reason he landed such an attractive wife. But it also got him second place on my list, which is better.

1.

Yosemite Sam

I guess we all saw it coming. Have any amount of facial hair you want, and you still can’t beat Yosemite Sam. His face practically IS a mo’, with the only skin showing being that on his ears. His face-to-mo’ ratio is incredible. The greatness of his mo’ matched only by his belligerence, Sam made a worthy foe for Bugs Bunny. Although ultimately he was unable to defeat “that pesky rabbit”, there is one area in which Bugs could never compete with Sam. With a mere three whiskers on each side, Bugs’s mo’ is pathetic, whereas Yosemite Sam is unchallenged by anyone in the cartoon world, and the clear winner of this countdown!

First pic - there are more to come. This is me and Dave, with our mo’s. My mo’ has not been groomed or trimmed at all. I SWEAR that is a full twenty-seven days of growth. Pretty poor show, don’t you think? I think I will keep it for longer than Movember, and aim for a Selleck. Dave has had to groom his for work, which is why it looks nice and trimmed.

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“The British Empire was the greatest and most diverse the world has ever seen.

At its height, it was seven times the size of the Roman Empire, its Navy ruled the oceans and a quarter of the earth was painted red on the map.

Military victories, trade expansion and a talent for bureaucracy all played a part - but so did the humble moustache.”

From Daily Mail

Look at the pictures in the link above to notice an indisputable fact: The size and influence of the British Empire has reduced in accordance with the mo’ size of it’s leaders.

Now, is the shrinking mo’ a result of the reduction in imperial power…the leaders no longer feeling manly enough to sport the mo’ of the past?

Or did the shrinking mo’ CAUSE the size of the British Empire to decrease, with the lowered amount of mo’ power leaving it vulnerble???